Week 7 Story: The Sun and the Moon
A very long time ago, Sun and his wife Moon lived on the earth.
One day, Sun came home after visiting his friend Ocean.
“Sweetie, guess what??” shouted Sun as he walked through the door.
“What is it, hun?” replied Moon.
“I finally convinced Ocean to come visit us!”
"Oh... Honey..." said Moon hesitantly. "You know how massive Ocean is. And he has those billions of fish and other animals that have to come with him. Are you sure that's the best idea?"
Then, with a big smile on his face, Sun said, "Absolutely I'm sure! Because..." he paused for anticipation, "We're going to build a brand new house! One that's big enough to fit Ocean and all of his fish inhabitants."
One day, Sun came home after visiting his friend Ocean.
“Sweetie, guess what??” shouted Sun as he walked through the door.
“What is it, hun?” replied Moon.
“I finally convinced Ocean to come visit us!”
"Oh... Honey..." said Moon hesitantly. "You know how massive Ocean is. And he has those billions of fish and other animals that have to come with him. Are you sure that's the best idea?"
Then, with a big smile on his face, Sun said, "Absolutely I'm sure! Because..." he paused for anticipation, "We're going to build a brand new house! One that's big enough to fit Ocean and all of his fish inhabitants."
Not knowing quite what to say in response to this bold, and rather rash idea, all Moon could get out was, ".....what..."
The next day, despite Moon's opposition to his plan, Sun began building his enormous new house.
And when it was finished, he called his friend Ocean and invited him over.
When the day came that Ocean said he would come visit, Moon held her breath, nervous that Ocean would still be too large for the house. Sun, on the other hand, could not contain his excitement. Then, there was a knock on the door, and Sun ran to open it. "Welcome, my friend! Come right in!"
"Are you sure that there is enough room for me?" asked Ocean. "I don't want to overcrowd your home."
"Of course!" said Sun. And so Ocean started flowing inside the house.
When he had filled up the house about half way, Ocean was not even a quarter of the way inside, so he stopped and said, "I don't think this is a good idea. Perhaps it would be best if I jus-"
"Nonsense! There's plenty of room!" said Sun.
Then Moon said to her husband, "Actually honey, I think Ocean is righ-"
"My home is your home!" Sun interrupted again.
And so, Ocean continued to flow inside until, pretty soon, he had entirely filled up and around the house. Then, having no more room and no where to go, Sun and Moon were forced to go up to the sky.
"Okay... maybe I got a little carried away," said Sun.
"I know you did," said Moon with a flat voice.
"You were right."
"I always am."
"I'm so sorry, sweetie."
"I know you are..." She paused before saying, "but I forgive you," knowing she could never stay mad at him for long, no matter how hard she tried.
And so the sky became their new home, and they never tried to invite Ocean over ever again.
Author's Note: This story is a retelling of the folk tale "Why the Sun and the Moon Live in the Sky." The plot, for the most part, is the same, however, the Moon in the original story was happy to go along with the Sun's plan and also didn't see a problem when the water continued flowing inside. I decided to write my story using mostly dialogue so that we could see more of the Sun and Moon's character, and I tried to include a little bit of humor as well.
Bibliography: Why the Sun and the Moon Live in the Sky by Elphinstone Dayrell
Hi Brianna!
ReplyDeleteYour story was charming and fun to read! I loved the bits of humor you added into the story! The addition of dialogue showcased the Sun, Moon, and the Ocean's character even more! The ending was sweet and ended with a happy ending. Keep up the good work, and I cannot wait to read more stories from you!
Hey Brianna! I thought your story had a lot of great dialogue between your characters. The language you use in the conversations really helps set the tone for your story. Adding some jokes in there also helped keep me engaged, and I wanted to keep reading to see what would be said next. One suggestion I would add is to add a little more description to your story. Obviously, people know what the sun and moon look like, but you can still add some language to help paint a picture of the story in the reader's mind. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Brianna! I loved this story!! The personification of the natural elements made this story so fun to read. I love that you gave a creative explanation of how the sun, moon and ocean came to be. The dialogue between characters really allows the readers to see the relationship between the sun and moon and the clever description of the 'moon's visit' was a cool touch as well. Great job!
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